“It’s going to be wonderful!”, Galinda exclaimed and jumped on Elphaba’s bed.
Her roommate – her friend – let out a disgruntled sound that was just the cutest. If her whole face wasn’t buried deep in a book, Galinda would have booped her nose.
“You will see”, she promised and lay down next to Elphaba. She was tempted to ask her what she was reading, but she didn’t want Elphaba to concentrate on that any more than she did. It was probably boring anyway. “I heard we are going to visit the city Dinklybow, and you know how famous their bubblegums are? And the sugar candies, let me tell you. Those are the best. I was only allowed to eat them on weekends and I had finished all my homework of the week on the day it was assigned.”
“So, once a year?”
Galinda harumphed. It wasn’t as if she was stupid, or lazy. She just had her priorities straight. She could be good. She was always good. “I will have you know that I earned the candies at least once a month,” she said and rolled to her side, head lounging on her outstretched arm, better to see Elphaba.
Her eyes were still trained on her book, but there was a slight curve to the corner of her lips which told Galinda that she wasn’t annoyed at all. It was so good that they were friends now.
“You know what?” Galinda said. “As I’m going to buy myself sugar candy anyway, I’ll buy twice as much and let you have some too.” She had been planning on doing so anyway, because what else was the purpose of having money? “There’s only one condition.”
“What, I finish my homework on the day it was assigned?” The slight curve of Elphaba’s lips widened to a smile that Galinda was proud to witness. Making Elphaba smile had become her favourite secret sport.
“No,” she said. “You kiss me.” Wait. What?
Elphaba’s head spun around, and finally, she looked at Galinda, her eyebrowes raised.
“Er, I mean,” she struggled to sit up, and laughed at herself, a high and well-practiced laugh, more a social giggle really, that had always worked well to relax a tense situation. She could pair it with anything: a joke, a short anecdote, or just a look that said ‘look, whatever may have just happened, we are part of the same social unit here.’ She’d perfected that laugh, and it never failed her, not even when she’d given the flowers to her other aunt at her aunt Staceley’s fortieth birthday.
Elphaba considered her, and that was way too … something. What was she seeing, looking at Galinda for so long?
Galinda shook herself free of the strange discomfort that had so suddenly taken hold of her. “I mean, here,” she said and put her hand forward, palm down, a clear invitation. Her inclined head and coy smile told the rest of the story.
Irritation passed about Elphaba’s face, just for an instant, and then a wry smile of her own. She put her book aside and sat up, face to face with Galinda. Her gaze dropped from Galinda’s face to her hand. “If I kissed anyone,” Elphaba said and took Galinda’s hand in her own, “it wouldn’t be for sweets.”
“Fine,” Galinda snapped and withdrew her hand. “I’ll eat them alone then.”
And just like that, her excitement about the class trip was gone. How would she endure the endless museums and visiting tours with which the professors threathened them, if she couldn’t even look forward to sharing her favourite sweets with her friend?
She didn’t wait for Elphaba’s reaction, but flung herself from the bed and left to … do something.
The thing was – she had no idea what just had happened. Was this their first row? Was this normal in a friendship? Galinda found she couldn’t really say. None of her friendships were like this one. It was at once the most complicated and the most exciting friendship she ever had, and she wanted more of it.
But then she met Shenshen and Pfannee and was distracted from these pesky thoughts, as their chatter drew her in.
“Galinda! You clear this up for us. Has Fiyero kissed you yet?” Shenshen asked as if to settle a dispute.
“Shenshen! A lady doesn’t kiss and tell!” Galinda shook her hair. Although if Fiyero kissed her, she would probably tell. Maybe if it was good, and definitely if it was bad. Okay, she would tell everyone if it was good. If it was bad, she would only tell one person, and she’d just left her in their room. It probably wouldn’t be all too bad though. Fiyero was experienced. Not that Galinda valued that, on the contrary. But they would look good together, and that was what counted, right?
“I’m just asking! I bet he’s wonderful.”
Maybe he was, although Galinda didn’t really look forward to finding out. Ozzy Oz, what if she was bad? For all she had flirted and perfected her hair toss and smile and playful banter, she didn’t know how to kiss someone.
The thought didn’t leave her for the entire day, not when she was letting herself be seen looping her arm trough his, not when she watched half the school swoon for him (and, let’s be fair, the other half for her), not when she lay in bed with the lights turned down.
“Have you ever kissed anyone?” she asked Elphaba through the darkness of the night.
Elphaba took a long time to answer. Maybe she was already asleep. Just when Galinda was about to get up and go to her, Elphabas voice rang through the room. “You’re my first friend, Galinda.”
The burning ache that Galinda had felt during their dance in Ozdust returned in full force. “I haven’t, either,” she confessed.
“But –” Elphaba sounded a bit lost, “you must have had dozens of suitors.”
“Never one I wanted to kiss.”
Her confession hung in the dark air between them. She wondered how it felt. What it would be like, moving with another body in perfect unison otherwise only attainable in dancing. To want that with … someone she should want.
At once, the distance between their beds felt far too big, an insurmountable chasm. Galinda wanted to look at Elphie’s face and pull her into her arms and witness with her own eyes what her friend was feeling.
“Let’s practice,” she said into the silence before she could stop herself. For a while she heard nothing but her loud, pounding heartbeat.
“Right,” Elphaba said in a strange, strained tone. “Galinda, are you alright?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I!” Because she didn’t want to kiss the one she was supposed to. Because she was going to be bad at it, and everyone would notice and then she wouldn’t be Galinda the Perfect anymore. That was why she was so nervous right now. With a sick feeling in her gut she plunged on, into the darkness. “You know, so that we are ready. For when it happens.”
“I,” Elphaba said and then stopped, and a crushing weight came down on Galinda even before Elphaba finished her sentence. “I don’t want to kiss you for practice.”
Even through the rushing sound in her ears, Galinda heard herself say: “But girls do that all the time.”
“Well. I’m not that girl. Good night, Galinda.”
And that was it.
Over the next days, Galinda couldn’t but feel that something was off between them.
Elphaba kept sending her strange looks out of the corner of her eye when she thought Galinda wasn’t watching.
And Galinda herself … well, she was certain that she behaved as usual, but her mind kept turning back to these conversations. There was nothing wrong with kissing for a dare. There was nothing wrong with kissing for practice. She didn’t know why Elphie acted like it was.
And, a much quieter voice in her mind supplied, she didn’t know why she herself had even asked. It wasn’t as if she wanted to kiss Elphie, right? It was just … only Elphie was allowed to see her fumble. To see her fail. That’s why she trusted her with this, and no one else. That’s why it hurt so much that Elphie didn’t reciprocate the feeling.
They still spent time together. Galinda even went out of her way to actually do all her homework on time, hoping against all odds, that maybe Elphaba would notice, and they would share a joke, and then …
Elphie actually let herself be pampered for once. But the strange looks stayed, and with them a kind of wariness they hadn’t had even in their early days. Back then, the lines had been clear. Now they were shifting, and Galinda didn’t know where to.
As the class trip approached, the whole class was talking about who would room with whom. Galinda was said to be getting a single room for once. It was strange that she didn’t know whether to enjoy the attention it brought her, or mourn that she wouldn’t be sharing with Elphie. She was supposed to enjoy her special rooming arrangements. Perhaps they could have a sleepover. Girls did that, right? For all she and Elphie shared a room here at Glizz, they hadn’t had a proper pajama party yet.
Of course, all speculation was rendered moot when they actually arrived at the place they would be staying for the weekend. Galinda didn’t really care what had gone wrong – something about water damage in one of the bigger rooms, which meant that a lot of students had to be reassigned to other rooms. What she cared about was that just like that, Elphaba was in need of a room. Even though Galinda was now friends with her, she still wasn’t all too popular with the rest of the school, and no one else wanted to room with her.
“Of course you can stay with me,” Galinda told Elphaba and was honored with a warm smile that felt like she was somehow winning.
The day was filled with one museum visit after the other, and honestly, at some point Galinda tuned out the endless lectures. They were allowed much less free roaming of the little town than she had hoped for, but she managed to get special permission from the teachers for herself. Her friends, however, were not allowed to come with her, so she made the trip to the sweets shop all alone.
In the evening, after dinner, there were class activities, and after that, they retreated to their rooms. It was then that Galinda noticed a flaw in their rooming situation:
Elphaba entered the room and looked around, and Galinda followed suit. “There is only one bed,” she noted.
There was literally only one small bed and a closet. And they couldn’t very well sleep in the closet. There was barely even room enough to sleep on the floor.
“I hope you don’t toss around too much,” Elphaba said in a dry voice.
Yes, that was it, of course. They would share a bed. They would share this incredibly tiny bed that was barely roomy enough for one of them. Galinda glanced at Elphie, only to see her quickly looking away.
“Me? I sleep like an angel,” she protested with a flick of her hair, but it felt weak. She didn’t like any of it: the way it made her feel small, like there was something she was missing, something she didn’t get in Elphie’s behaviour, and also, quite honestly, her own. The way the rift between them still wasn’t fully closed, even though they still shared days and days of school and friendship and swordfighting and makeup and … well, every day of the week, just about every hour of the day, honestly.
They made ready for bed. They were going to touch, probably a lot, if neither of them wanted to fall out on the side. Galinda stood beside the bed and looked at Elphaba. Was she okay with it?
“Look, Galinda,” Elphaba said. She was sat on the bed and looked at Galinda with her beautiful eyes. She didn’t seem just as hesitant as Galinda felt, but still, there was a wariness in her eyes. There was no need to feel hesitant, or wary. They were friends. They were allowed to share a bed. Galinda didn’t know why it felt more meaningful than that. “If you don’t want to share the bed with me, I can go find a different spot. Or … sleep on the floor, I guess.” All at once, she looked sad and forlorn, and Galinda wasn’t having that.
“No, no!” she exclaimed, taking her dear Elphie’s hand. “Please, I don’t know what came over me.” She squeezed Elphie’s hand and gave her a reassuring smile. It wouldn’t do to make her feel unwanted. Not when she was very much wanted.
Galinda pulled Elphie with her onto the bed. There was an awkward shuffle while they tried to find a place without touching the other more than necessary, and then an equally awkward “you move”, “no, you move” when they noticed they couldn’t just both lie flat on their backs in the meter-wide bed without at least some contact.
Finally, they settled on their sides and turned off the light. Galinda felt the warm press of Elphaba’s body against her back, and again a some shuffling as Elphaba apparently tried to find a place for her hand.
Her hesitance made Galinda antsy. There was no need to try to minimize contact in a place like this! Finally, Galinda took Elphaba’s hand in her own and placed it on her waist.
“There,” she said with much more certainty that she felt, “that’s better, right?”
For a few anxious moments, Galinda waited for Elphaba’s reply.
“Yeah.” Elphaba’s voice was soft, an almost relieved and wondrous sigh that was at odds with the strange distance she had kept all those last few days and weeks.
Elphaba’s breathing was even, her hand warm on Galinda’s waist. Galinda could feel every movement of her friend’s body against hers, and all at once she was flooded with … something. A strange tingle on her whole skin, radiating out from her waist to her groin, only to be absorbed through her back into Elphaba. It was as uncomfortable as it was delightful, and Galinda did the only thing she knew would help.
“What are you doing?” Elphie asked, and Galinda thought she sounded a bit breathless, too.
“I’m turning around,” she said, because that was obvious. But for once, she found that she couldn’t find a reason to say why. Just that it was the only thing that felt right, like nothing else mattered.
Galinda almost fell out of the bed, and with a breathless and excited giggle held onto Elphaba, who in turn held her hand and said, unnecessarily, “don’t fall.”
Not if you hold me , Galinda thought, but it felt impossible to speak the words, so overcome was she with a sudden awe: that it was Elphaba who held her hand, who shared a room and a bed with her, who was so above everything and everyone, and yet showed a side of herself to Galinda that she kept hidden from everybody else.
Elphaba, who had cried when Galinda had touched her with care and tenderness, who held her head high because it was the only way she could breathe.
Elphie, who wasn’t half as detached as everyone thought.
I don’t want to kiss you for practice, she’d said. I don’t want to kiss you for a dare.
Galinda shuffled closer to her, to the center of their shared bed, and once she was sure she wasn’t going to fall out, took her hand out of Elphaba’s and put it around her friend’s waist.
Her heart leaped in her chest when Elphaba mirrored the position.
Here they were, side by side, face to face, and Galinda could feel Elphie’s warm breath on her forehead and the goosebumps it made on her own neck and back.
“I really like you,” she whispered on a whim, like it needed to be said, but talking was too dangerous.
Elphaba’s hand tightened on Galinda’s waist as her breath hitched, and they held each other a bit closer in the silent dark.
“I never dreamt of meeting someone like you,” Elphaba finally whispered back. “I don’t know what …” She paused, the hesitance this time more thoughtful than anxious. “I’m very glad I did.”
A sudden wave of feelings swept over Galinda, so intense that she wanted to run, or dance, or sing, but for once, she just held tighter onto Elphaba. It reminded her of their first days of sharing a room, when they had still been trying to find a rhythm, when every single one of Elphaba’s moves and words had grated against Galinda’s bare nerves. Only this time, the tightness building in her chest was something else entirely, an inexplicable feeling, sudden and new.
“I like you so much I want to bite you,” she said before she could hold back the thought.
This made Elphaba laugh, and a sudden rush of rejection threathened to overcome Galinda, but then she said: “Then do it. If you are brave enough.”
Galinda pushed herself up to her elbow and bent over Elphaba. But just as she was about to bite her in the ear, another urge was stronger: “I don’t want to bite you for a dare.” She stumbled over the word ‘bite’ as she remembered what else they weren’t doing for a dare. “And also not for practice.”
Maybe Elphie remembered it too. “But?” Elphaba prompted with a tentative and hopeful tone. It was a quiet, soft murmur that sent shivers down Galinda’s spine.
Galinda’s heart whirled in her chest as the words left her mouth: “But maybe we could do it for real.” She darted out her tongue and licked along the bow of Elphie’s outer ear, then pressed a kiss on it.
Elphaba made a sound that made Galinda want to bite/kiss her even more.
“So … for real?”, she asked again.
“Yes, if you want.”
As if there was any question about it! Galinda couldn’t believe it had taken her this long, but now it was as clear to her as a bright morning in summer, as clear as the flowing water of the fountains in school, as clear as the sun in the sky:
“I don’t want anyone but you.”
Elphaba’s hand tightened around Galinda, the warm comfort of her closeness a blanket wrapped around her.
“Galinda,” Elphaba whispered almost choked, and Galinda's heart swelled as they embraced, holding onto each other.